Cheeseland Interview: George and Lenny

Eva Bruin, cub reporter at the Critter Cover High School Weekly Clarion, is sitting down with our editors George and Lenny for their first interview. They are excited that for once they will be the story.

How did you start your careers?

George: I started out like you, Eva, on my high school paper. I was editor my senior year.

Lenny: Yeah. He took over from a guy who got eaten.

George: An unfortunate case of mistaken identity. Being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Have you always been a team?

George: Actually, we’re cousins. We come from a close family.

Lenny: Our dads are brothers.

George: We grew up together and the job just sort of happened.

Lenny: Yeah. We’re like brothers. I’m the good-looking one. He’s the brains.

George: Aww. Thanks, Lenny.

What made you decide to come to Cheeseland?

George: I answered an ad on the MousterWorks job site for a blog editor.

Lenny: I saw it first, but they called George for some reason.

George: I actually sent them my resume, remember?

Lenny: Oh, yeah. I got frustrated with all the questions on MousterWorks. I think they might have closed my account, come to think of it.

Is it hard working with cats?

George: Actually, Cheeseland is a zero-tolerance workplace. We’ve never faced any discrimination.

Lenny: They do all of the hiring virtually. Cat didn’t know that we were mice until we did the final interview.

George: It isn’t really a problem. We have all kinds of animals here: raccoons, rabbits, a gorilla, cats, …

Lenny: And Cat has a strict “No eating family members” rule. We’re all considered family.

Are there any interesting stories coming up soon?

George: We heard an interesting news story the other day. At Yellowstone, the humans want to have garbage cans that are too difficult for the bears to get into, but easy enough that any human can use them. Apparently, there’s a problem because some bears are smarter than some people.

Lenny: We want to go talk to the bears and get their side of things.

George: It’s also been awhile since we did a reptile story.

Lenny: We have quite a few alligator fans, so we’re putting something together for them.

George: We’ve had several requests for a hedgehog-friendly story too.

What are the best and worst parts of your jobs?

George: Paws down, the best part of this job is the animals we work with. I have never been at a place that is so mutli-cultural. And everyone is so nice. Very low stress.

Lenny: And there’s no pressure to make things more human-centric. With a human owner, the blog could have run in an entirely different direction.

George: I guess the worst part is the deadlines. We like to keep things fresh, but sometimes it’s a struggle to get it out on time.

Lenny: If we could just find a non-human typist, it would be a lot easier…

Do you have anything you want to say to your readers?

George: Thank you for all your support. We couldn’t do it without you.

Lenny: Please try to think of mice as something other than a snack.

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

Tori Tabby’s Getting Married Part 2

Where we left off. Tori’s boyfriend Robbie has asked her to marry him. She wants to invite her father. He lives with two Persian cats. She goes to his house to invite him, and the Persians are not happy. Tori is frightened and hides behind her father. She tries not to run. The female human hears the hissing and comes outside.

Woman: Caesar! Cleopatra! What are you doing?

She sees Tori.

Woman: Are you hissing at that poor little kitty? She’s hiding behind Davy. Shame on you. Get in the house.

The Persians slink into the house.

Woman: Hello little kitty. Aren’t you cute. Are you a friend of Davy’s?

Tori is too frightened to say anything. First the Persians, now this woman who had stolen her daddy. She didn’t say anything.

Woman: You look frightened you poor little thing. Those other kitties really scared you, didn’t they? Is she a friend of yours, Davy?

Davy: Mrrow. Mrrow.

He nuzzled Tori and rubbed against her. He was purring.

Woman: Okay, Davy. You can play with her. But don’t run away with her. You know you live here.

Davy: Mrrow. Mrrow.

The woman went back into the house.

Davy: Are you okay? Cleo and Caesar are all right. They just don’t really like strange cats.

Tori (crying): Daddy, why did you leave us to live here? Aren’t we good enough for you?

Davy: Of course you’re good enough. Cleo really liked me, and the lady thought I would be a good companion for her. She didn’t know I had a family. The food is really good, and I have a nice, soft bed to sleep in. I couldn’t go outside for a while, and I got used to it. It doesn’t have anything to do with you, sweetie. Besides, the humans really like me. I think they have adopted me. They would go looking for me. I really don’t want to be on the run.

Tori: I guess I understand. But you’re still my daddy, right?

Davy: Of course I am.

Tori: And what about Mama?

Davy: Well, that’s a little harder. Since I can’t live with her, she should probably find another cat if she wants companionship.Did she send you over here?

Tori: No, Daddy. I came over on my own. I’m getting married, and I want you to come to the wedding.

Davy: My little girl’s getting married! Who’s the lucky cat.

Tori: It’s Robbie, Daddy. He lives down the street from us.

Davy: I remember him. He’s a nice fellow. I’m very happy for you both.

Tori: So you’ll come to the wedding?

Davy: Where is it at?

Tori: Our house. It isn’t very far.

Davy: Okay, I’ll be there. I’ll ask Cleo and Caesar. Like I said, they are actually very nice. So how is your mother? I’d really like to see her and reassure her that it was nothing personal.

Tori: She’s doing well. I think she’d like to see you too.

Davy goes inside and tell the Persians who Tori is, and why she came to visit. They want to go out and see her. Davy warns them that Tori is afraid of them, and may be a little standoffish. They go outside, and Tori starts to back away..

Cleo: It’s okay, Tori. We won’t hurt you. Your daddy told us who you are. We’re pleased to meet you. Tori looked at Davy.

Davy: She means it, sweetie.

Tori (slowly): I’m pleased to meet you too.

Caesar: Davy told us that he wants to go to the wedding. We’ll figure out a way to keep our human mama from chasing after him.

Tori: Oh! Thank you very much! That’s very kind of you.

Caesar: We’re pleased to do it. And we’d like to congratulate you and wish you well on your wedding and life together.

Tori purred and nuzzled each of them. They welcomed her.

Tori: I’d better get going. Mama will wonder if I got lost.

With one last nuzzle for her father, she was on her way. She was very happy and ran all the way home.

Next week: The wedding.

 

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

 

 

 

 

 

Tori Tabby’s Getting Married

Tori Tabby came running in the door.

Tori: Mama! Mama! Guess what!

Mama: What? What’s all the excitement?

Tori: Robbie asked me to marry him. He says he wants to settle down and have a family.

Mama: Oh, Tori! I’m so happy for you. He was always such a good kitten. I’m glad to see that he’s turned into a fine young cat.

Tori: He is so sweet, Mama. I’m so excited.

Mama: Do you want a big wedding, sweetie?

Tori: Not really. Just our families and a few friends. Do you think Daddy will come?

Mama Tabby hesitated before she answered. She hadn’t really spoken with Tori’s father much recently.

Mama: I don’t know, sweetie. Why don’t you ask him?

Tori: I don’t want him to say no. What if I ask him and he says no? It would ruin the whole thing.

Mama: Why would he say no?

Tori: I don’t know. He hasn’t been the same since he started hanging around with those snooty Persian kitties. He thinks he’s better than we are.

Mama: He doesn’t think he’s better than you are, Sweetie. He’s just busy. After all, he does have a new family.

Tori: But they’re mostly humans, Mama! He doesn’t have any new kittens.

Mama: Yes, but you know how humans are. Once you adopt a family of them, they never want to let you out of their sight.

Tori: But he’s not even a Persian! All the other cats are pure-bred.

Mama: Sweetie, you know what happened. Your father saw Princess playing in the yard and went in to play with her. The humans started feeding him, and before we knew what was happening, the humans decided that he and Princess were so cute together that they needed to be in the same family.

Tori: He could have left.

Mama: Just because he’s happy there, doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. Go ahead and call him.

Tori: Maybe I should ask Robbie to talk to him.

Mama: If you want him to see you get married, you need to talk to him.

Tori decided that her mother was right. She went to visit her father the next day. When she approached the house, she saw a young human playing in front. Tori went up to him and started explaining her story. The boy looked extremely confused.

Boy: You’re a beautiful little kitty, but I don’t know what you want. Are you hungry? I can get you something to eat.

Tori tried talking slower and more loudly. So the boy reached down and started petting her. She rubbed against him, hoping that he would start to understand.

Attracted by the loud sounds of a cat, a group of three cats came to the front of the house. There were two Persians and a handsome mixed breed named Davy. He looked closely at the visitor.

Davy: Tori! Is that you?

Tori: Daddy! How are you?

The father and daughter ran together and started to nuzzle. The two Persians were not impressed and began to hiss.

Next week: Will Tori and the Persians become friends?

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

You Think it’s About You?

Many of us follow the same cycle through life. High School graduation. College graduation. Marriage. Kids. Kids’ high school graduation, college graduation, marriage, kids. It seems to go on forever (particularly some parts). And there are often parties associated with each step.

Interesting thing about those parties. The person who has achieved the milestone thinks the party is about them. I have never gone to a high school graduation party and not seen the graduate disappointed by how few friends showed up.

The graduate thinks the party is to congratulate him for finishing school (and reward him with lots of money). It’s the kid’s first introduction to the idea that we’d really like to get together sometime other than funerals. As a rule, the adults see these parties as a chance to catch up with relatives, friends, neighbors. It’s the reunion they’ve been meaning to put together but never got around to.

It starts with the invitation. Oh look, we got invited to Tony’s graduation party. I can’t believe he’s old enough to be graduating already. He’s Vivian’s son, right? I love that side of the family. They’re always so much fun to be around. Remember Gloria’s wedding? I have to write this down so I don’t forget.

Moves on to the gift. How much should we give? I don’t remember what we gave Amy two years ago. I guess it doesn’t matter. Amy’s my cousin and Tony’s my cousin’s son. Or do you give the same to everyone? Honey, do you remember how much Aunt Viv gave you last year for graduation? Maybe $50? Too much? OK, $25.

Then the accessories: I have to remember to take the pictures of Sheila in Scotland. I don’t think anyone has seen them. And that picture of grandpa I found in the attic. I wonder if Sandy is going to have her genealogy charts there. I guess it’s a good idea, but I forgot to see if I could find great-uncle Earl’s birthplace.

Finally, the day of the party arrives. The graduate has been chatting with his friends. They all say they’ll make an appearance. (The appearance turns out to be 10 minutes after the party ends. Smart kids.)

The first person to arrive is an elderly woman Tony doesn’t recognize. His mother rushes out to greet her and introduces her to Tony. Mom then disappears into the kitchen to finish up the food. Tony gets her a chair and asks how she’s doing. She proceeds to give him a rundown of her health, her neighbors, the weather, and her dead husband.

Finally Tony gets away to greet some other guests. It’s his aunt, uncle, and evil cousin who once tried to drown Tony. Turns out Jack is planning to become a lawyer. The adults leave to let the “kids” remember old times. Tony begins to wonder if anyone will miss him if he goes upstairs.

Some neighbors come by and Tony relaxes with them. His mother makes him get up to greet each person as they arrive. He talks to each for a few minutes. Hello. Thank you for coming. Yes, I’m glad to be out of school. I’m going to Wilderness U to study forestry. Yes it is an unusual major. Yes, there are actually jobs in that field.  Begins to wonder why anyone has a graduation party.

There is a good turnout for the party. People are complimenting his mother on the food. Except for the woman who says that she was at a graduation party the weekend before and it was catered.

The usual compliments and stories were told by the guests.

You can also overhear: I can’t believe her mother let her come wearing that. Of course Doris was the same way at that age. Or: Can you believe Eve is still dating him? He doesn’t even have a real job. Well at least he’s better than Jerry, remember him?”

Is that really the last impression you would want to make on your friends before you all go off to college?